Your Mother Would Like It: GTFO & Miscellaneous Favorites

Posted: June 4, 2010 in Commentary

Ra ra ra ah ahhh. Ro ma ro ma maaa. Gaga Ooh la laaa. I haven’t really been in the mood to edit and publish the next chapters of my written series, “Mondiale,” and frankly, it’s because the weather in Alaska has been way too nice. I can’t shut myself off to reality to write another commentary, much less a story, when there is 19 hours of pure sunshine outside, SO! Now that it is nighttime, and it’s kind of muggy out, I’ll throw together a list of cool things. It’s worth looking at and you’ll hopefully appreciate some of the content. If you don’t, GTFO of your house and go do something. Seize your summer! Go build a house for some kids in Guatemala. Go geocaching in Beverly Hills (and by geocaching, I mean break into Orlando Bloom’s house. The kid looks bored, give him something to worry about.) Go start a lemonade stand on the busiest intersection of your city (hilarious). Go ice-blocking on a nearby steep hill. Go snort coke out of a stripper’s cleavage. Go do SOMETHING better than sitting at home. I will be doing all of these things the second I log off, because I’m a Cap’n. And Cap’ns don’t have Summer Break – Summer Break has Cap’n. 

All aboard the ROFL TRAIN.


Yeah, that was dumb. But for real, I’m peacing out after this list. So, check it. Enjoy it. Laugh at it. And GTFO. My summer is way better than yours because I get more mileage out of it. The sun is literally up in the effing sky for almost 20 hours out of the day. I can enjoy it on my own time. But you? Your sun is only up for half the day. Get some LOLZ, then get some Vitamin D. These are a few of my favorite things… 

1. College Humor never disappoints. Did anyone ever figure out where Carmen San Diego was? That bitch taught me how to Math Blast my way through life… and fail miserably. But really, this video is every bit of awesome. I’d let her shoot me in the jaw. 


This woman is pure gold. I wasn't expecting her to be so warm and humble when she was on Larry King Live, but she was really pleasant and down to earth. Awesome interview, awesome talent, awesome gaga.

2.   “I’d rather die on stage, not under a palm tree.” – Lady Gaga on Larry King Live 2010 

Then Larry King put on sunglasses. And it was awkward.

3. Check this short article out. Apparently singers can spell, too. I know… totally blew my mind.|main|dl7|link3| 



4. Got this video from my friend Michael, who is the most splendid Asian grandmother friend I’ve got. I miss him dearly. This video is partly a shout-out, but you can’t deny the supreme, spectacular grandeur of this show. “Two Fat Ladies” is hilarious, strange, and mouth-watering – I dare you to watch the whole thing without laughing or feeling awkward. 

She probably smells like $50,000, vanilla silk, and the tears of unicorns.

5. Annnnd Dolce & Gabbana’s Summer Collection is pure gold and I am loving every bit of it. Granted, their new line of purses and totes looks like they murdered every single character of Fraggle Rock and put hand straps on them – but nevermind that. This name brand never disappoints. Mmmm, just like hot tea. Pretentious, sexy, and burns like hell if you have it too soon. Hooray for the recession!


Always thought this picture was dangerous and funny.

6. This picture. 

And that’s all I’ve really got. It’s stuff worth looking at, anyhoo. I just got a text, and I see a Carlos in my future. Gotta go, my dears. I’m off like a prom dress. GTFO and do something. 





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s